Well, I have to write two short stories for my English class and here is part of one of them. It's epic!
If you've ever had an argument before, you know the pain of not winning it. If you've ever had a stupid argument before, you probably know how stupid you felt after fighting about it. Even in thee year 2031, people still argue about really stupid things. Some things, even stupider than when Nixon and a man from Russia argued about who had the best kitchen appliances.
It started one day, when the government released news that they were training dogs and cats to talk and type. That's when Janet and Markie (the two chinchillas that lived in the science lab where the dogs and cats were being trained) got talking. . .of course they couldn't really talk. . .they mostly squealed.
"Why are they training animals to talk? It's so dumb! We can talk. . .just not their language." Janet sighed as she lapped up some water from the dish in their cage.
"Next thing you know they'll be training weasels to be able to shoot people! Imagine that. Weasel assassins throwing knives and killing everyone." Markie laughed heartily.
"Weasels, no matter what, will never ever be able to use a gun or a knife."
"I'm sure someday they'll be able to." He argued.
"They're practically brainless-" Janet quickly broke off her sentence so that he wouldn't hear her squealing. The scientists often thought that when they squealed, they were dying which always meant a painful visit to the vet for the animals.
"Here you go Katrina. Back into your cage you go." One of the partially bald scientists (aka Dr. Deranged, otherwise known has Frankie to his co-workers and the older animals). As soon has he exited the white-walled room, the two chinchillas resumed their bickering.
"We are smarter than them Markie and you know that. We can't throw knives and so they can't." Her voice rose as she spoke making the napping animals look up at them and sigh, none of them were too happy to be woken up from their peaceful nap.
"I know soon all of the chinchillas of the world will take over. Right Penelope? Markie turned to look at the cute, plain white chinchilla, Penelope.
"Whatever." She mumbled as she chewed on some of her food.
"It is almost impossible Markie! We don't even have opposable thumbs. You can not hold a knife without opposable thumbs. Every chinchilla and weasel knows that!" Janet said exasperated with his arguing.
"Not if we evolve!"
"Markie!"
"Oh and for your information, weasels do have opposable thumbs."
"I don't even know what an opposable thumb is Penelope!" Janet roared angrily, her voice was louder and her nose had started to twitch.
"A thumb is the last finger on a human hand. Not the short one, but the one that the put on the biggest bar of that keyboard thingy." Markie explained. "I think we have them. . .I'm not too sure though." He held out his tiny paws and wiggled them out in front of him. "Maybe."
"I doubt that. If you had opposable thumbs you would be ruling the world by now." The smartest animal in the room, Nickie the cat explained.
"Muhph." Markie snorted.
· THE KNIFE-THROWING WEASEL ·
If you've ever had an argument before, you know the pain of not winning it. If you've ever had a stupid argument before, you probably know how stupid you felt after fighting about it. Even in thee year 2031, people still argue about really stupid things. Some things, even stupider than when Nixon and a man from Russia argued about who had the best kitchen appliances.
It started one day, when the government released news that they were training dogs and cats to talk and type. That's when Janet and Markie (the two chinchillas that lived in the science lab where the dogs and cats were being trained) got talking. . .of course they couldn't really talk. . .they mostly squealed.
"Why are they training animals to talk? It's so dumb! We can talk. . .just not their language." Janet sighed as she lapped up some water from the dish in their cage.
"Next thing you know they'll be training weasels to be able to shoot people! Imagine that. Weasel assassins throwing knives and killing everyone." Markie laughed heartily.
"Weasels, no matter what, will never ever be able to use a gun or a knife."
"I'm sure someday they'll be able to." He argued.
"They're practically brainless-" Janet quickly broke off her sentence so that he wouldn't hear her squealing. The scientists often thought that when they squealed, they were dying which always meant a painful visit to the vet for the animals.
"Here you go Katrina. Back into your cage you go." One of the partially bald scientists (aka Dr. Deranged, otherwise known has Frankie to his co-workers and the older animals). As soon has he exited the white-walled room, the two chinchillas resumed their bickering.
"We are smarter than them Markie and you know that. We can't throw knives and so they can't." Her voice rose as she spoke making the napping animals look up at them and sigh, none of them were too happy to be woken up from their peaceful nap.
"I know soon all of the chinchillas of the world will take over. Right Penelope? Markie turned to look at the cute, plain white chinchilla, Penelope.
"Whatever." She mumbled as she chewed on some of her food.
"It is almost impossible Markie! We don't even have opposable thumbs. You can not hold a knife without opposable thumbs. Every chinchilla and weasel knows that!" Janet said exasperated with his arguing.
"Not if we evolve!"
"Markie!"
"Oh and for your information, weasels do have opposable thumbs."
"I don't even know what an opposable thumb is Penelope!" Janet roared angrily, her voice was louder and her nose had started to twitch.
"A thumb is the last finger on a human hand. Not the short one, but the one that the put on the biggest bar of that keyboard thingy." Markie explained. "I think we have them. . .I'm not too sure though." He held out his tiny paws and wiggled them out in front of him. "Maybe."
"I doubt that. If you had opposable thumbs you would be ruling the world by now." The smartest animal in the room, Nickie the cat explained.
"Muhph." Markie snorted.
